It’s the eve of the funeral- the beginning of the end. The hole that you’ve been digging is six feet down and we’ve only got hours.

But I’m here, awaiting a sign- or lack of- patiently with flowers, to see when it is time to be at peace. Nothing but a smile will be on my face because I tried- I really did.

My heart beats out of my chest, remaining there on a time schedule because soon it will be silent, laid to rest for weeks until sunshine returns. My thoughts ramble on throwing my mind in circles.

I’ll hang onto every word, wishing for one more and never receiving it. The flowers are clutched between my hands.

The fault belongs to no one but me. Merely, I asked for it. I wished to feel anything at all, then you came along and made me feel everything.