I’ve heard the phrase time and time again, that things need to fall apart before you put them back together, and I never really believed it until now. I paid too much attention to attempting to look put together, instead of actually allowing myself to heal.

Healing is an ugly process, there are days where giving up seems easier than taking care of myself. I had a habit of laying in bed all day, not feeding myself, not excercising, not socializing, and not doing the things that make me happy… I didn’t realize how important small things were to my survival.

And if I can’t take care of myself, I cannot properly take care of others. My friends will get neglected, my family, and even my dog. Taking care of myself means that I can take care of others, and that’s important.

It makes me happy, eating good food, playing soccer, playing fetch with my dog, spending time with my friends, seeing my family, socializing over a cup of coffee – so, I’m doing it. Just because I feel as if I don’t deserve it, doesn’t mean that happiness shouldn’t happen for me.

Self care is a priority, everything else comes next.