Everything. Hurts.

My chest is sore from sobbing, my eyes are irritated with dry tears, my fingers are picked raw, my wrist burns, my stomach threatens to empty, my lungs can’t keep up because my breaths are suffocating, and my mind won’t stop running because even when I gave everything that I had, it wasn’t enough.

All I want is your skin on my skin. I want to go back to the moment before everything came crashing down. I want to believe in the words you say and watch the way you move so carefully around me but the pieces of that picture are shattered at my feet. Everything I once knew is tainted and I’m not sure if I can ever get it all back together.

I’m terrified of myself. I don’t know what she’ll do. My friend says I’m strong, but I feel the weakest that I have ever been, I cannot stand on my own. I lie in bed all day thinking of better times and pondering what purpose this all has.

Because as Irma would say, bad things can’t happen to good people…they just can’t. So I have to decide what I’m listening to, my head or my heart.