It has become abundantly clear that where ever I step, chaos rains, rather it be physical chaos or the chaos that flood my mind. It’s always there, watching, waiting, until I come along dragging it behind me.

Maybe, it’s me.

The sad part is, I cannot help it. I try so hard to do the right thing, make people happy, be a friend, be a daughter, be a girlfriend, be a hard worker, be smart, and find inner peace. And it hardly ever works out.

Whatever I do, seems to be never enough.

Perhaps, I am the problem. (It explains so much.) Why I get ganged up on at work, why arguments seem to drag on for days, why I’m not the favorite sibling, why when I do things for people- I don’t get the same energy in return, why I don’t have many friends, why I can’t sleep at night, why I feel the way I do, and why, no matter how good my day is, I always end it by crying into my pillow.

Which, hello, it’s easy to get ride of the problem. Unfortunately, it sounds easier than it actually is. How do you get ride of a problem?

You solve it.