I feel that whenever I am trying to put myself back on track, that’s when things fall apart the most. It almost as if the universe wants to…balance out my karma before I get what I need.

I am working out regularly, eating right, and taking vitamins and probiotics to better my health. I got up early and then decided to work out on a Saturday. Sunday, we went to church, I took a nap on the couch and then decided to clean out my Leopard Gecko tanks.

I found out I got a bad bulb from Petco – Lumos is sunburnt. Not only that, Nox was begining to block. With one traveling cage, I brought Nox to work with me and photos of poor Lumos body and tail.

This felt like two blows to the stomach. How could I be the Exotics expert at work if my own exotic pets had health concerns right now? All day, I just felt sick to my stomach.

It’s funny how big something small can feel when you are not in the right headspace for it. With one look from my doctor, “We can fix that.”

That one sentence made me feel loads better than I did coming into work that morning. Things happen, I need to accept that and understand it is what I do to change it or help it that matters.

I changed Lumos bulb to a new one, applied SSD cream to his body and gave him pain control. Nox got sedated and we came to the conclusion that he has a Vitamin A deficency despite the vitamins I give to him in his diet – I added on a new vitamin. I can keep going and everything will be okay.

I just need the right environment and people surrounding me to handle these situations. I need to accept that I am no longer in the company of people who think the worst of me. Everyday, the guilt will go away until I will finally let myself be happy.