I have trouble with focusing, I feel as though my attention is grabbed in three different directions and that I have so much to accomplish to make everything work. Obviously, I have ADHD but it is only ever really had a bad time focusing occasionally. Especially, late at night.

I was laying in bed yesterday overthinking about my plants. I am concerned that the amount of leaves dropping, is more than the normal amount – I know during winter they may drop even more and it is considered okay.

First, I doom scrolled. I read all about potential illnesses, pests, and imperfections that could go wring with my plants. Brandon chimed in every once in a while trying to help.

Second, I got onto amazon and ordered more support for my large Monstera, a moisture level for my plants, a light meter, new drainage plastic cups, and some bigger pots to possibly replant my Harry Styles. (I know, repotting in winter is a huge no, but I am DESPERATE. I need him to stop balding).

I’m determined to keep learning and keep my plants happy and healthy. I understand that sometimes that means that they may die regardless of what I try or do but I figured, hey, at least I am trying. I cannot get upset by trying.

After my doom scrolling, amazon ordering, and out loud thinking, my brain decided to focus on another pointless task. I started focusing on my writing. I was an insomniac, still am, bad when I was in early years of college. This was in Michigan when I would travel from Kalamazoo to Cedar Springs for the weekend.

I would hide in my room at Grandma and Randy’s, it was late at night, I would take my benedryl, then this collections of thoughts would just spill out of me. I had this small hand held notebook that I would carry everywhere and just jot down anything and everything. Then I would type it all up on my laptop stringing it all together.

I thought about having another handheld notebook – but that would be another notebook that I would have to keep up with. My next thought was what if there is something I can use like an app that will transfer through all of my devices.

There was nothing on the app store that I could find that would fit it for me, so I settled for the notes app that is already installed on all of my devices.

I fell asleep typing on my notes app, just anything that came to my mind. I woke up at 2am with my phone in my hand.

This morning it made it a little harder to get up and work out, eventually, I forced my body out of bed and did my morning routine.

Do I need ADHD medicaion, or just more coffee? Let’s start off with the cheaper one.