Getting up before 6 AM is killing me. Yet by the time that I drink my pre-workout and it kicks in I’m so glad that I get up and make it to the gym. I think that it’s easier when you have somebody to keep you motivated and you know That you can rely on.

But even after my workout on certain days, if V has to go in before me, I make sure that I utilize that additional 20 minutes wisely. (most of the time I end up right back on the treadmill). When I played soccer running used to be a punishment if we lost a scrimmage if we had a bad game if we’re not playing tour potential. And here I am over and over again picking to run.

I think that, even though it felt like a punishment, then now I use it as a way to clear my head. If I’m upset, if I’m overthinking, if I want to keep going, but I’ve exhausted my weight lifting abilities for the day I’ve always chose to run.

While I was running on the treadmill this morning, I just chuckled at myself because I think I’ve always been a runner. In relationships and I’ve always enjoyed running which I thought was ironic. I think my half marathon days are long gone, but it’s a nice nod to who I used to be when I was younger. Although running them now doesn’t seem as bad, probably because if I did sign up for it I would actually train unlike when I was a kid.

I wanted to beat my personal record this morning by running a mile under 10 minutes but the closest that I got was 10 minutes in 10 seconds. Which in theory isn’t bad but it frustrates me just a little bit. I don’t think I pressed it as hard as I normally would because I know tomorrow is leg day and I don’t want to be burnt out

Even though I get up this early in the morning to go to the gym and make sure I have enough time to get ready for work before leaving after I get back home I feel no motivation and I’m scared for the days where I’m not gonna be able to take pre-work out.

Or even the days that I can no longer have coffee on the weekend. I have cut coffee out during the week for the most part. I honestly only do that because I have pre-workout in the morning and I’m terrified that my heart will explode, I know this is an irrational fear, but it keeps me from drinking more caffeine. I try to reward myself with one of the poppy sodas at lunch. I don’t think it has caffeine in it, but it’s a nice little midday treat.

Everybody cross your fingers and hope that I stay a functioning human being until later. Because I know I’m gonna turn into the crabby monster around six you guys should also probably think about my poor husband who has to deal with me when he gets home ha ha.