Category: 2026

February 26th, 2025

On By looogaaaaaanwritesIn 2026Leave a comment

This week was my first week back at work. I’m part time for the first two weeks to ease myself in from motherhood back into my normal flow of work.

Monday was my first day, it was hard. I cried all the way to work and then I took a break in the middle of the day and cried in the bathroom because I couldn’t stop thinking about my daughter.

Then at 4:45pm, an emergency walked through the door and it’s like old me took over. I grabbed the bleeding dog from the woman’s arms, ran them to the back, and started triaging them with one of my technicians. As we were working with the emergency, it felt just like before I left. I started late, helped stabilize the patient, and discharged them to go to the ER overnight for hospitalization.

It wouldn’t be a first day without something crazy happening. (Happens to all of the new moms at work, it’s crazy!)

Then Wednesday, I was able to stay focused until the later afternoon… my mom brain was kicking in with lack of sleep. But I was able to do a cysto on a cat’s bladder , which is a Technician skill they let me do since I am in school. It got me excited for learning new skills, but that will happen when I am ready. I still need to gain my footing at work still.

Overall, I think that for a new mom I am doing pretty well. But the updates from the mom’s throughout the day help with my anxiety.

I hope I get settled in with a new routine soon. Being a new mom working full time and being in school is a lot…but I cannot imagine my life being any other way right now.

I’m so happy.

February 17th, 2026

On By looogaaaaaanwritesIn 20262 Comments

This week I started my going back to work routine since I go back next week on Monday. Which means that bedtime starts at 8pm, and at her 6am feeding, I am up for the day, while she will fall back asleep on her own until 7:30am. That gives me an hour and a half to myself in the morning.

So far everything has gone well with the routine, however, it is like she is feeling a shift in the dynamic (or possibly going through a growth spurt or “leaping”) since she has been cluster feeding and extra fussy the past two days.

She refuses to be set down, so lots of contact napping and not much schoolwork – which is okay, I am soaking in these last few days together.

It feels so strange that almost twelve weeks ago, she was brought into this world and now I am going to be thrown right back into work and expected to be normal.

I am nervous about returning to work, I do miss work, but I know I am going to miss her company more. It helps that she will be with family and not some stranger or daycare facility.

I am just feeling new mother’s guilt on leaving her.

On the other hand, the weekends and week nights will be extra special snuggling her and spending her wake windows. During my leave, we decided to turn our untouched sunroom into a playroom for her.

For three weeks, I have been painting this plant mural on the largest wall, and today, with my mom’s help, I finished it. My goal was to have it done before the end of my maternity leave so that we can use it for tummy time and we did it.

Tomorrow, I just need to lift the books that are flattening the carpet up and lay out a tummy time mat. Maybe one of these days she will let me set her down long enough to put the shelving unit I got for her toys together, too. My sister-in-law is also gifting us a play kitchen set, which she cannot use now, but my niece can.

I’m so excited for all of those things…is it possible I love her too much?

Here is the mural with the ladder obstructing my picture:

February 15th, 2026

On By looogaaaaaanwritesIn 2026Leave a comment

Tomorrow will begin my last week on maternity leave. All I am left with is this bittersweet feeling. It felt like just yesterday I was forty weeks, throwing in the towel, hoping she would come before the scheduled induction date.

Every contact nap, every morning smile over coffee, every sleepy milk drunk look, and every dirty diaper is heavier than what it use to be.

I would be lying if I said part of me didn’t miss being at work – helping the sick and injured animals is what I am passionate about, the reason I’m finishing school.

But a huge part of me will always wish I was at home with her. Even if that meant all the blowout diapers, spit up down your shirt, and hard nights where no one got any sleep. It makes me feel nostalgic for those early days when it was just the three of us at home learning how to communicate.

My head is filled with those new mom guilt driven questions – did I spend enough time with her? Did I hold her enough when she slept? Should I have sat down more, cleaned less? Will she miss me? Will she even know that I am gone?

I am more relieved that instead of dropping her off at a day care, we will be leaving her with her grandparents. Plus, my first two weeks back at work will be part-time, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

I’m beyond grateful for this new chapter in my life: Parenthood.

I think I need a glass of wine.

February 14th, 2026

On By looogaaaaaanwritesIn 2026Leave a comment

I just have to say this: I am a spoiled wife.

My husband, loves Valentine’s day. Every single year, he out does me when it comes to gifts. That is his love language, and he is never shy about it – nor does he listen to me when I tell him the following: No, it’s too much, $$ is the price limit, etc.

This Valentine’s day’s gift was a brand new MacBook Air.

This was something that I was saving up for but would never commit or pull the trigger. I have a hard time spending money on myself, I never feel as though I deserve it and I would always say my old MacBook was still kicking around….even if it was shutting down on me frequently in the middle of school work.

The truth is, my old laptop was becoming more and more unreliable. But me, being who I am, I dislike change. It’s a strong autistic trait of mine. I’m also stubborn, but that’s besides the point – I refused to commit to another laptop (perhaps, a cheaper one?) simply because every other laptop is different.

Whereas, every MacBook is the same. They are all synced up with the rest of my devices, I am familiar with their setup and I wouldn’t have to learn a whole new layout. Also, my last MacBook lasted ten years before it started having problems…why would I go back to previous brands that I struggled with before?

This afternoon, I was told to get in the car and shortly after we arrived at Best Buy, where they -surprise- were having a sale on the MacBook I was looking at. Twenty minutes later, we were walking out with it in hand.

Honestly, I do not understand how I deserve him most days.

January 28th

On By looogaaaaaanwritesIn 2026, Personal writingLeave a comment

It’s been a while, a lot has changed in the last eight months. I had a scare, that haunted me for the remainder of my pregnancy. I have a tendency to step away from things I love and place myself on “survival mode”. Hence, my absence. (To, you know, three of you that consistently read my blog). I’ll do a brief update, one of these days I’ll get into the deeper stories.

I’m happy to say that early December, we welcomed our beautiful baby girl into the world. She is perfect in every single way and I cannot believe how lucky I am everyday to be her mother.

I finally enrolled in the Penn Foster Program to further my career as a Veterinary Technician. I cannot imagine doing anything else with my life and I’m excited for that next chapter.

I’m an aunt. Not only to my brother’s future step children (come June of this year, they got engaged in October) but to my sister in laws baby boy, born just four days after our little girl. I cannot wait to watch them grow up to be the best of friends.

We committed to allergy injections for Nyx and I’m hoping for improvement this coming allergy season. Luna, my senior pit just got diagnosed with a heart murmur which we will work up once I’ve returned from maternity leave.

I said goodbye to my brother’s dog, Baja. We loved her so much and I wish there was more that could have been done for her.

I’m so grateful for everything that we have and everyone in our village because we wouldn’t be here today without them. I’m doing as well as a new mom can at this stage, less than four weeks left until I return to work.

See you soon.