The shaking hands, are your so hold as we cross the street.

These arms, are yours to be embraced with to say hello.

These fingers, are yours to gently brush your hair back with.

These eyes, are yours to be admired by even on your darkest days.

These lips, are yours to be softly kiss by and to be told how much I love you.

These legs, are yours to dance in the basement with during a party.

These ears, are yours to listen to your stories and all about your day.

I’m all yours.

They can see it.

The way I move, how I talk, the smile that never leaves my face – I’m happy. And all of it is because of you.

I wouldn’t be sitting at the dining room table laughing with my family over a card game. I wouldn’t be smiling with my favorite lipstick on. I wouldn’t be creating these memories to cherish later on in my life.

I am happy because you took the time to invest in me and make sure that I know how much I am loved by you.

You’re not even here physically but your presence lingers in my mind as close as my star necklace is to my heart.

For that I will always be thankful.

I caught myself staring at you when you weren’t looking and all I could think was, “I’ve been waiting for someone like you my entire life.”

I’ve waited for someone to look at me the way you do, with your adorable grin and love what you see.

I’ve waited for someone to appreciate my little quirks and welcome them into your own daily routine

I’ve waited for someone who speaks softly to me, the way that you do and remember even the smallest details I’ve said.

I’ve waited for someone to love me the way that you do, lovely and chose it by simple touch of the hand.

I’ve waited for someone to understand me the way that you do, and love even the worst parts of me.

I’ve waited for someone like you to teach me how wonderful living life can be when you allow yourself to be happy.

I’ve waited for someone like you to love for the rest of my life and I’ll do everything I can to see your smiling face looking back at me.

I think the greatest things happen right before our eyes, some loud and demanding attention, while others are soft and subtle before they hit you like a downpour.

You came like the rain.

The first time we met happen by coincidence. The second my chance. The third time you crossed my path –

I knew I loved you then.

When you stood there in my yard, pass the sunset, just ask about my day.

I knew I loved you then.

When I leaned back to admire the stars, you joined too.

I knew I loved you then.

That night in your parents den, watching movies under the covers, you kiss me for the very first time.

I knew I loved you then.

Our first date, curled up on your couch, watching movies and stealing kisses.

I knew I loved you then.

When you decided to celebrate sweetest day, simply just to show me your love language.

I told you I loved you then.

Sometimes the best things in life just can’t be predicted, I’m just glad I forgot my umbrella.

You make it easy. To laugh, to smile, to will myself to keep going. I can look at myself in the mirror. I can throw on a top without hiding my body. I can speak my mind openly.

On my worst days, you pick me up with ease. You make me feel loved in ways I didn’t even know were possible. You met me when I was in a dark place and lit up my night sky. I see everything in a new light.

Because of you, I can get out of bed every morning, I sing out loud to whoever can hear me, I can smile without thinking twice, I can show who I am without any hesitation, and I can allow myself to be happy.

I’m so in love with you and I will never stop telling you, showing you, and being there for you. You’re my forever.

It’s overwhelming trying to get use to new behavior, when you’ve become so accused to distinct behavior. Especially when you’ve allowed your mind to live in a state where you anticipated that blow to the gut. Being disappointed, hurt, or cast aside were a constant place that I quite often visited – I even learned to predict it and that negativity would wash over me, I was use to drowning.

I thought that when I let go, I would just have to live with the fact that I was not enough. I was the girl who would gladly lend a hand when I saw that you were struggling, to support you in every way that you needed, to do those little things to try to impress you, and to try, no matter what the situation was, to make it work, just to make you happy.

In return, I would get one good day where I made someone happy, or remotely close to it. For me to ask for anything more than that, was too much of a hassle or rather, it was too hard to make me happy. I accepted this. I can’t open my mouth when my feelings got hurt, I was the bad guy, and I became too hard to love. I was not someone who deserved to be loved the way that I loved you.

I let go and walked away, taking away these small trauma responses. I flinch when someone picks up their hands, I apologize when I spill my drink in the house, I panic when my dogs get a little too loud or anxious, and I am continually comparing myself to other people surrounding me.

To be loved again, is one thing that I have been struggling with. Because how I am suppose to explain that raised voices terrify me, how I yank my sleeves down further to make sure every inch of my skin is covered or wandering eyes will make me panic, how am I suppose to understand that my little mistakes aren’t a big deal, how am I suppose to untrained my brain to think the worst of everything and how am I suppose to allow you to love me when I don’t even love myself – Better yet, how am I going to allow you to convince me that I am not hard to love? All of these things, make you so sad for me and the person I was before I met you. Since then, I’ve been fighting to be someone different and It’s never easy.

Because today, I woke up to breakfast in bed. Because on my birthday, I walked out to a balloon attached to my truck. Because on Wednesday, I got a reminder paragraph about how loved I am. Because when I was uncomfortable, you took me home and made me feel safe. Because on a Thursday, I got a thoughtful gift of our night under the stars. Because when I accidentally make a mess, you laugh with me and clean it up.

Despite me believing that I am not enough, that I don’t deserve those things – you refused to hear it and instead, was patient and kind. All because you wanted to see my smile, you wanted that ruby red kiss on your cheek to wear the whole night, and you wanted to show me off instead of me hiding in the shadows.

It’s overwhelming to reprogram myself to think positive thoughts and not get stuck inside of my head. But because of you, I can change.

The unrealistic romance aspect of television and books, ruined the idea of love for me. At such a young age, I was taught that love came as easy as it did on the movie screen and as quick as finishing a two hundred page chapter book – then crashed into the reality that romance like that, only came with a written story line.

So it never mattered me what cliché my friends tried to live out with their relationship tragedies, because I didn’t wish to be apart of it, I just wanted to make it through another week.

The bitter aspect towards romance stories, no matter who wrote them, stuck with me and I created a stubbornness about me that never allowed such behavior. I couldn’t take compliments, I couldn’t accept dates, and I ignored feelings and allowed them to just go away with time.

And then I met you. Those feelings, couldn’t be pushed down, I had to see you. I only spoke to you a half an hour, but I wanted to hear your voice.

I had no idea how I wanted to be loved until you showed me. You took this stubborn, shy, insecure girl and you made her into someone who is confident, outgoing, and happy.

It wasn’t the things you bought me, the places you took me, or anything that you did for me. It was the little things.

You listened to me when I spoke, remembering small details. You always told me how beautiful you thought I was, every day, even when I fought back. You picked up on my fidgeting, you subsided my anxiety just by holding my hand. When I look away and back to you, the way you look at me, like I’m all that you ever see. The small gestures, like a balloon on my truck for my birthday. The little things that made it so easy to fall in love with you.

I never knew how much love I was capable of reciprocating when I loved myself too. I could send a paragraph to make you smile when you wake up. I could drop by your favorite ice cream out of the blue. I could pick up a pendent that’s reminds me of you and make a necklace out of it. I could remind you how handsome you are and how amazing you are to me.

Maybe Nicolas Sparks can write a better love story and perhaps James Cameron can direct the perfect scenes – but our love story belongs in the stars, just as much as theirs.

In the dark, I admire you as you gaze at the stars. The way your lips curl when I point out another star constellation.

It was peaceful laying there and staring up at the sky with only a few grass blades between us as I ignore the night chill soaking in my bones.

Listening to you talk, I got lost in your words and my body hummed with every accidental touch.

I never knew how simple it could all be, to feel so comfortable in your presence. Or how being myself felt like the only option, not trying to disguise the unruly parts of me.

You never looked at me like I needed to be or looked like someone else. You looked at me as if there is a twinkling gem. Like I was one of your stars.

We meet again under the tree.

You pick up right where we left off and it gives me hope that everyday at sunset, you’ll hear the sound of my truck and appear around the corner greeting me with a smile.

The moment I see you…

It’s like a breath of fresh air. I feel so comfortable, so much like myself you see, I have been drowning for so long and you make it easy to stay afloat.

When the sun goes down, we part ways and I will wait to meet you again under the tree.

You made it so easy

To laugh, to smile, to talk

I hadn’t had that in so long

I forgot what it feels like

To feel brave enough to welcome your conversation

To have hope

Why couldn’t have I known

That you were out there

all along, waiting

Maybe a year ago, I wouldn’t have let you walk me to the door

I wouldn’t have let you into my head

I wouldn’t have gotten to know you – but this is me trying

So, I’ll watch for your car down the drive way

I’ll ask you about your day

I’ll walk you to your yard

And I’ll hope that you’ll still walk over when you get off of work.