I am a Type A person. I am not ashamed by it and it is what it is. However, it doesn’t mix well with some people who are more, go with the flow and whatever is fine. I am not bothered by people who are like that if it is not an event that I am organizing, because it is not in my control, just let me know when to show up.

I organized and planned my entire wedding and the only things that went wrong were the drink people did not bring my Whiskey for my Whiskey sours and the caterer arrived late – both out of my control. I ran the whole show on time without even glancing at my phone once, just intuition. I am proud of that because it is the best memory to hold about your wedding day.

I do not do well with making plans, then changing them three times before the day even happens. It naturally, annoys me. I am a planner and I like sticking to my schedule, even if I have nothing else going on. I try not to fuss or complain about it but every now and then it is my biggest tick. (I feel like this is also associated with my Autism, but that’s another story).

My in-laws are very go with the flow and change plans on a dime. Which is fine, but it does bother me when plans were made, then canceled, then rescheduled and then added another day on. I just try not to say anything because the last thing I want is to hurt people’s feelings because my pet peeves are being petted. (And deep down it’s a me issue?)

So we will either go out to Mexican (where I can’t have a margarita because I chose to cut out alcohol) on Friday night, Saturday afternoon or Saturday night. Then we will watch our parents exchange gifts on the opposite Day since they never got together for Christmas. And my parents do not know yet because the message has not been relayed.

My head hurts thinking about it.

Music hold memories for me. I was driving to work today listening to my workout playlist, it ended and started shuffling music that is similar.

I felt as if I was transported back to high school in the back of my best friends car. We were parked at the gas station, gearing up to pull out and our song at the time came on, Pierce The Veil’s song King for A Day. I distantly remember all three of us, her girlfriend included, screaming and singing to one another until the song ended.

Then, another song came on. It was Slipknot’s song Psychosocial. I was brought back to riding in Jerry’s truck on the way to a soccer game. HE was tired of us requesting the Jonas Brother’s album and told us we needed to get hyped up and taught us how heavy metal is one of the best genre’s out there.

I heard Car Radio by Twenty-One Pilots, it reminded me of a piece of poetry that my friend wrote that was beautiful and based off of that song.

Even though the people have long faded out of my life, I cannot help but smile at the moments that we use to share together. Even if the friendships turned sour, I still have happy memories to admire.

I added those songs onto my work out playlist for some nostalgia. I’ll spend the rest of the day humming them, cannot say I am disapointed.

I have trouble with focusing, I feel as though my attention is grabbed in three different directions and that I have so much to accomplish to make everything work. Obviously, I have ADHD but it is only ever really had a bad time focusing occasionally. Especially, late at night.

I was laying in bed yesterday overthinking about my plants. I am concerned that the amount of leaves dropping, is more than the normal amount – I know during winter they may drop even more and it is considered okay.

First, I doom scrolled. I read all about potential illnesses, pests, and imperfections that could go wring with my plants. Brandon chimed in every once in a while trying to help.

Second, I got onto amazon and ordered more support for my large Monstera, a moisture level for my plants, a light meter, new drainage plastic cups, and some bigger pots to possibly replant my Harry Styles. (I know, repotting in winter is a huge no, but I am DESPERATE. I need him to stop balding).

I’m determined to keep learning and keep my plants happy and healthy. I understand that sometimes that means that they may die regardless of what I try or do but I figured, hey, at least I am trying. I cannot get upset by trying.

After my doom scrolling, amazon ordering, and out loud thinking, my brain decided to focus on another pointless task. I started focusing on my writing. I was an insomniac, still am, bad when I was in early years of college. This was in Michigan when I would travel from Kalamazoo to Cedar Springs for the weekend.

I would hide in my room at Grandma and Randy’s, it was late at night, I would take my benedryl, then this collections of thoughts would just spill out of me. I had this small hand held notebook that I would carry everywhere and just jot down anything and everything. Then I would type it all up on my laptop stringing it all together.

I thought about having another handheld notebook – but that would be another notebook that I would have to keep up with. My next thought was what if there is something I can use like an app that will transfer through all of my devices.

There was nothing on the app store that I could find that would fit it for me, so I settled for the notes app that is already installed on all of my devices.

I fell asleep typing on my notes app, just anything that came to my mind. I woke up at 2am with my phone in my hand.

This morning it made it a little harder to get up and work out, eventually, I forced my body out of bed and did my morning routine.

Do I need ADHD medicaion, or just more coffee? Let’s start off with the cheaper one.

The roads were cleared enough this morning to make the trip to work. I forced myself to get up this morning, work out (it was arm day..thank god I am CSR so that I don’t have any lifting), and then leave early enough to take it safe on the roads. I blasted my work out playlist the entire drive, naturally filled with A Day To Remember, Bring Me The Horizon, and Rise Against songs to jam out to.

My day is filled with training our new Veterinary Assistant. So far, it seems like she is retaining the information that we are giving her and asking good questions as the day goes on. This gives me hope for the rest of her training. It’s hard to stay in veterinary medicine, the mental load alone is hard to carry most days. She sort of reminds me of a younger me, when I entered Vetmed, I was only twenty-two, just like her.

It’s nice to sit back and train all day, it’s a nice cushion coming in from a three day long weekend. I’ll be here until 5pm tonight, hoping that there are plenty more phone calls, emails, and text messages to tend to prior to doing close down stuff to get out on time for my appointment.

Every 3-4 weeks I got ge tmy nails done by one of my friends. It is a nice little self care tool that I have done since my wedding. I enjoy having my nails done and having them look nice. I do think it has been helping them grow as well. They are long enough to hinder my typing, and I cannot wait to ask her to cut them down a little so that I can actually function.

of course, I have no idea what I am going to do for them today. I was thinking maybe a light purple with white flowers on my ring fingers? Maybe lavendar flowers – I’ll figure it out.

On another note, it has been seven days and I am still going strong on my New Years resolutions and goals. I have not drank Alcohol, I have been working out with only one rest day so far, and I am writing every day without failing. It’s nothing significant but, I am pretty proud of what I’m doing. If I can do simple tasks like this, I can do anything.

Now, I am going to finish my cup of coffee and enjoy the rest of my lunch break before diving into this afternoon. Nothing beats Caramel Macchiato.

I think I have too many hobbies. Managing them occasionally can be a little tiring, but rewarding all at the same time.

I feel as though my hobbies waver depending on the day.

I love crocheting because it brings new projects and joy when they are gifted to people or just used at home in general. My sister in law still wear the hat I made her two Christmases ago, it means the world to me.

I love writing (obviously) so I aim to write and blog everyday. I find it a good way to exercise my brain. It also allows me to let go of those small thoughts that swirl around my head. I work it out on my own.

I enjoy working out. It allows me to expend all of the tension from the morning or the day. I also get to watch my progress grow and I feel better and better about myself every week. I’m so proud of myself for it.

I like drawing because it gives my mind something to focus on entirely, the fine details, and the color variation. I do not draw often but when I do, I always seem happy with the outcome.

I have fun playing video games too. There aren’t many games that capture my attention long enough to play for hours on end.

I love plants. I love caring for them, watching them grow, and acquiring ones from my wish list.

Sometimes one hobby or another will be neglected, it’s not on purpose, I just get overwhelmed and I need a moment to take a deep breath.

I’ve been getting better at maintaining them through a helpful app for self care called Finch, which sounds ridiculous but it truly works for me.

I gain rewards by doing simple tasks and it helps me keep up on things I enjoy, and my mental health. It makes it easier to stay on top of household chores and even my self care.

I have tasks set for cleaning the house, washing our bedsheets, doing one thing I love (any of my various hobbies), doing laundry, and drinking plenty of water throughout the day. It truly helps.

For whatever reason this gives me a sense of accomplishment and I’ll keep doing what I can to keep up with my mental health this year.

Now for today’s hobby: crocheting! (Hopefully attaching some granny squares together).