I can see in their eyes that they’re worried, but there is nothing I could say to dismiss their fears. Not when my own mind carries the same concerns.

I hear it in their voice when they call my name out and my mind is too far away. I see it in their eyes when they search my face for some form of emotion. I feel it when they rub my back in attempt to make me feel better.

But I’m vacant. I’m lost somewhere between where my brain produces thoughts and where my mouth tries to form words.

And when I’ve fallen back on silence I can hear Dr. Edgar’s words, “who do you live for, if not yourself?”

And I repeat those names.

Over and over.